WHAT IS THE POINT

[Only me]

that describes​

 

[قرصان الساحل]

listen Pytha
i think that we need to think more about the advice that the crow will give to Micy , then we'll think how Micy use them in a wrong way and how he'll suffer cuz of his narrow mind
before meeting any animal
here u added the fox , let's use him later during Micy journey as a source of most of the troubles
so they'll be friends but the fox never be friendly in reality, he will believe that he is the one who deserve the throne ,, what do u think ???​

Marcossa I imagine the way to the montain it's so hard
so Micy it look like a kind then he will learn more before reach to the crown
so when he reach to him , he will tell him he see everything and what should he learn from this trip before fight the lion
cuz Micy dont understund any thing about forrest life so this trip it will learn him more
wht do u say​

 

[قرصان الساحل]

and instead of said , u can write any verb that describe the situation as: added , cried, shouted ,whispered, claimed, and so on​

Yeaah it will be more usefull to avoid the repitition ... thnx marcossa​

 

[Only me]

Marcossa I imagine the way to the montain it's so hard
so Micy it look like a kind then he will learn more before reach to the crown
so when he reach to him , he will tell him he see everything and what should he learn from this trip before fight the lion
cuz Micy dont understund any thing about forrest life so this trip it will learn him more
wht do u say
​

Any story should be wrote according to some standars to fit some literary movments like: naturalism, realism, modernism, colonialism and so on, here for example our story is talking about a mouse who is fighting to take the throune= to get rid of the Lion's unequality and his correption ,and this may fit the colonialist movement, however since our story is set in jungles and the characters are animals it would be better if we follow the naturalist's standers and one of the standars is that nature is more powerful, the mouse can never be a king bcz the rules of the forest said that, in addition we have determinism which stands for : each person is created to live as he is , he can never ever change his situation, if u r weak then it's ur destiny to live weak
​

 

[Only me]

i know u want Micy reach the throne after a very hard trip, but i don't agree with u
Micy will suffer a lot , but we need his suffering to give lessons
when the crow advices him he'll not take the advice seriously and he'll hear the crow's speaking not listening to him
when u listen u pay attention to every detail but when u hear u take only the message without it's real meaning ​

 

[قرصان الساحل]

Any story should be wrote according to some standars to fit some literary movments like: naturalism, realism, modernism, colonialism and so on, here for example our story is talking about a mouse who is fighting to take the throune= to get rid of the Lion's unequality and his correption ,and this may fit the colonialist movement, however since our story is set in jungles and the characters are animals it would be better if we follow the naturalist's standers and one of the standars is that nature is more powerful, the mouse can never be a king bcz the rules of the forest said that, in addition we have determinism which stands for : each person is created to live as he is , he can never ever change his situation, if u r weak then it's ur destiny to live weak
​

yes I agree with u abt that our story need to be more logical so what do u sppose ?? change our hero to a wolf for example cuz he want the revenge to his father who killed by the lion
wht do u think
​

 

[قرصان الساحل]

i know u want Micy reach the throne after a very hard trip, but i don't agree with u
Micy will suffer a lot , but we need his suffering to give lessons
when the crow advices him he'll not take the advice seriously and he'll hear the crow's speaking not listening to him
when u listen u pay attention to every detail but when u hear u take only the message without it's real meaning ​

yes I agree with u here but as I said in the previous comment we need to change our hero but we keep the same events
to be our story more logical as u said​

 

[Only me]

yes I agree with u here but as I said in the previous comment we need to change our hero but we keep the same events
to be our story more logical as u said
​

no no i didn't mean that
when i talked about the standards i meant the the mouse will fight and fight but he'll never change his sitation , he will stay a weak creature
and if u want we may let the fox be the king at the end bcz he is more powerful than the mouse and he uses his mind more than his force
m just suggesting u r the coach​

 

[Only me]

yes I agree with u abt that our story need to be more logical so what do u sppose ?? change our hero to a wolf for example cuz he want the revenge to his father who killed by the lion
wht do u think

​

i liked the idea of revenge
we need it ​

 

[قرصان الساحل]

no no i didn't mean that
when i talked about the standards i meant the the mouse will fight and fight but he'll never change his sitation , he will stay a weak creature
and if u want we may let the fox be the king at the end bcz he is more powerful than the mouse and he uses his mind more than his force
m just suggesting u r the coach​

ok I like ur idea so I suppose the fox want to revenge to his father who killed by the lion
So he dont care abt the crown he just need the revenge and when he see a mousse want to be king ywali ydir lgalb hhhh​

 

[Only me]

ok I like ur idea so I suppose the fox want to revenge to his father who killed by the lion
So he dont care abt the crown he just need the revenge and when he see a mousse want to be king ywali ydir lgalb hhhh
​

yes yes seems amazing
but we need to think and think what should the crow advise Micy ​

 

[قرصان الساحل]

yes yes seems amazing
but we need to think and think what should the crow advise Micy ​

But the fox now our new hero emmm Micy I think that he will die before meeting the crow

​

 

[Only me]

But the fox now our new hero emmm Micy I think that he will die before meeting the crow


​

?? what do u mean
i didn't understand​

 

[Only me]

what's wrong???​

 

[Only me]

OOOOhhh noooo plzzz don't let him die hhhh
yaw Micy howa lhero but he'll not reach his aim, he'll be killed by the fox at the end
the fox u'll not show his durty plan, he'll be the friend of Micy till the end of his trip but he'll do his best to damage his plan ​

 

[قرصان الساحل]

what's wrong???​

hh sorry I sent a comment has not completed yet
I mean Micy give the fox an idea to achieve his goal cuz now the both have to kill the lion
so Micy will die before hi reach the crwo cuz the way it's so hard
So the crow can advice the fox by:
don't tell anyone by ur plan
use the enmies of lion like the tiger to help u cuz u impossible to do it alone
give him some wiknees point of lion
somethings like that what do u think marcossa​

 

[قرصان الساحل]

OOOOhhh noooo plzzz don't let him die hhhh
yaw Micy howa lhero but he'll not reach his aim, he'll be killed by the fox at the end
the fox u'll not show his durty plan, he'll be the friend of Micy till the end of his trip but he'll do his best to damage his plan ​

hhhh okey I think the fox in this story similair to me hahaha
when he finished he will tell the mousse that " a cat mkharjlk rahba baghi to9tal sba3"f​

 

[Only me]

hh sorry I sent a comment has not completed yet
I mean Micy give the fox an idea to achieve his goal cuz now the both have to kill the lion
so Micy will die before hi reach the crwo cuz the way it's so hard
So the crow can advice the fox by:
don't tell anyone by ur plan
use the enmies of lion like the tiger to help u cuz u impossible to do it alone
give him some wiknees point of lion
somethings like that what do u think marcossa
​

yaaaaaaaaaaaa Pytha ra7 tehabelni
don't make it that simple
when u end up the mouse' life and the crow advice the fox then the latter go directly to aply his plan ,, here there is no suspence, events are detailed in a chronogical way without any turning points fehamtniiiiiii
lazem wa7ed ykhatet w yt3ab w yech9a li howa Micy w lakhor ynafedh fi samt li howa the fox ​

 

[Only me]

hhhh okey I think the fox in this story similair to me hahaha
when he finished he will tell the mousse that " a cat mkharjlk rahba baghi to9tal sba3"f
​

hhhhhhh that's it the fox will show his friend that he was taking the right path but with wrong person
what makes the fox similar to u ??
u wanna kill me or what ?? hhhhhhh​

 

[قرصان الساحل]

yaaaaaaaaaaaa Pytha ra7 tehabelni
don't make it that simple
when u end up the mouse' life and the crow advice the fox then the latter go directly to aply his plan ,, here there is no suspence, events are detailed in a chronogical way without any turning points fehamtniiiiiii
lazem wa7ed ykhatet w yt3ab w yech9a li howa Micy w lakhor ynafedh fi samt li howa the fox ​

Don't say ra7 thablni phyth it's better than to say "u drive me to mad"f
hhhhhh
Okey Okey I understand u completly Micy will tire nd fox pick up the fruits

I just want to (wanna .___.) to add a gd raison to the fox' revenge like the lion kill both of his parents when he was a baby
​